The loss of a loved one can be devastating, it can cripple you. The death of my parents did just this. I felt like I couldn’t breath…..my world crumbled and I clung to anything, to anyone that would keep me afloat; to anything that would give my life some meaning and help ease the pain of the grief. Grief is defined as an intense sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death. It is the deep mental anguish, as that arising from bereavement. This is how I felt when they left this earthly plane. The moment I knew their feet would not walk this earth as mine do, the moment I knew they would not breath the same air that I do……the physical pain of their loss was so tangible, so real and so raw….
But this blog isn’t about how I clung to my little baby girl for survival this is about the journey I am on now. The journey of release…..I am working on clearing away and letting go of the grief I have held onto for far too long. It has taken me 10yrs to realise that letting go of my parents doesn’t mean letting go of their memory, it simply means letting go of the attachment to the physical earth plane. In letting go, we will all be able to move forward and be whole. It means standing in my own personal power, being brave and strong enough to live in this world but still being soft and gentle enough with myself, my children, my husband, my friends and family and to know when to ask for help and rely on others.
I’m terrified and excited and feel extremely vulnerable but the universe has been gently nudging me in this direction and guiding me to release. So here I am, arms outstretched willing to lean how to let go and be whole not only for me, but for my parents and for my gorgeous baby girl who so bravely and lovingly supported me xXx
Images: The Angel of Grief and from www.glogster.com